How the Wisdom of Giving and Receiving Restores Inner Harmony
There is a powerful wisdom in life that reveals itself when we pause long enough to notice: the wisdom of balance. So many of our struggles, exhaustion, resentment, loneliness, a feeling that something is blocked or missing, can be traced back to one simple truth: the balance of giving and receiving has been disrupted.
“When the pressure drives me to give something of equal value, I am liberated from my debt and feel light and free.”— Bert Hellinger (on the Order of Giving and Taking)
When we give too much without allowing ourselves to receive, we become depleted. When we take without returning, we feel heavy or indebted. And when we deny the reality of what has happened in our lives, refusing to acknowledge what is, we cut ourselves off from the flow of life itself.
To return your life to balance does not require heroic effort. It begins with small, simple acts: clearing what no longer serves you, acknowledging what has been, expressing gratitude, asking for forgiveness, and opening your heart to both giving and receiving. These movements free us from entanglement and restore harmony.
The Flow of Giving and Receiving
In systemic constellations, the flow of giving and receiving is considered the foundation of healthy relationships and inner peace. Life itself moves in cycles: inhale and exhale, day and night, giving and receiving. When this rhythm is respected, both sides grow stronger.
Giving allows us to extend ourselves into the world, to share love, support, creativity, and care. Receiving allows us to be nourished, replenished, and dignified in our place as part of something larger. When one side dominates, imbalance creeps in:
• Over-giving can lead to exhaustion, resentment, and the quiet hope that someone will finally notice our efforts.
• Over-receiving without giving back can create guilt, dependency, or an uneasy sense of being disconnected.
Balance restores dignity on both sides. It keeps relationships alive, respectful, and flowing with trust. But further more, it keeps the flow of life unobstructed.
Clearing and Releasing
One of the first steps to restoring balance is clearing. Clearing our debts, clearing our spaces, and clearing ourselves of what no longer serves us. This might mean paying back money owed, giving away possessions that hold us back, or releasing emotional burdens or believes we have carried far too long.
Each act of clearing creates space for new life energy to move. It is not about punishment or sacrifice, it is about balance. To give away what no longer serves us is to step into freedom.
Gratitude and Acknowledgment
The balance of giving and receiving cannot exist without gratitude.
When we acknowledge what we have been given, whether it is love, material support, wisdom, or simple kindness, we nourish the flow of life itself.
Acknowledging what is does not mean pretending everything was perfect. It means seeing clearly and honouring reality. It may sound like:
• “Yes, this is how it was.”
• “I see what you took/left.”
• “I am forever grateful for what you gave me.”
These acknowledgments bring healing because they give every truth its place. Gratitude, expressed openly or silently, restores balance in ways words can hardly describe.
Compensation and Returning What Was Taken
Sometimes imbalance arises because we have taken more than we could return. This can happen in relationships, in business, or even in subtle ways we are not fully aware of. The path back to balance begins with acknowledgment, and then with a gesture of compensation.
If you can return what was taken, do so with respect. If this is not possible, you can balance the exchange in another way: by giving your energy or resources elsewhere, nurturing someone else in your turn, or even through symbolic acts such as fasting or surrendering something of yourself in an appropriate way. What matters most is the conscious recognition of imbalance and the movement toward restoring it.
Balance does not need restoring directly with the person / situation at hand. Best example of this is the dynamic between parens, who give, and children, who receive. In due time, the children themselves would be giving to these who come after them (not necessarily to their parents), and so the balance is restored.
Asking and Letting Go
There are also times when we feel that someone owes us something.
Instead of clinging to bitterness or disappointment, we may choose to ask, politely and with respect, for this debt to be returned. In doing so, we not only support our own balance, but we also allow the other person return to theirs.
And yet, not every debt can be repaid. Some people may no longer be present, or may not have the strength or willingness to return what was taken. In such cases, balance can still be restored through forgiveness.
To forgive with an open heart, to release voluntarily, is to donate the debt back to life itself. Often, when this step is taken, life responds in unexpected ways, with surprising gifts, opportunities, or blessings. The act of letting go restores balance not by avoiding the exchange, but by consciously closing it.
Living in the Rhythm of Exchange
Taking life fully means participating in the rhythm of giving and receiving almost constantly.
We give through work, love, presence, and attention. We receive through rest, nourishment, gratitude, and support.
This rhythm is the fuel of life. The freedom within it comes not from avoiding imbalance, but from restoring balance when needed. Pausing to acknowledge where the flow has been disrupted, and bringing it back to harmony, allows us to move forward with more clarity and strength.
Simple practices can help us stay connected to this rhythm:
• Allowing ourselves to receive help openly.
• Offering kindness or generosity when our hearts are full.
Each act of acknowledgment is a step toward balance.
Healing Through Hypnotherapy and Systemic Constellations
In hypnotherapy sessions, we often uncover hidden imbalances in giving and receiving. These may be personal, or they may belong to the wider family system. Patterns of over-giving or under-receiving are often inherited from our parents, ancestors, or unspoken family loyalties.
Systemic constellations bring these hidden dynamics to light, showing us where the flow of giving and receiving has been interrupted. Hypnosis then allows us to engage in a therapeutic movement, a deep inner process where unfinished exchanges can be acknowledged and completed.
Even when the people involved are no longer present, balance can be restored inwardly. Within the hypnotic state, we can acknowledge what is, express gratitude, forgive, or symbolically return what was taken. These acts, though unseen, have profound effects. They release us from old entanglements and return our life to balance.
An Invitation to Balance
The art of balance is about participating consciously in the flow of giving and receiving. It is about acknowledging what is, restoring what has been unsettled, and freeing yourself from the weight of unfinished exchanges.
If you feel ready to explore this in your own life, I invite you to get in touch. You may begin with a free 20-minute consultation or book your first session. Many people are surprised by the clarity, lightness, and harmony that come when the balance of giving and receiving is restored.
